The Death of Loretta LeSabre

As some of you may know, my Buick Lesabre, Loretta LeSabre passed away in January. Although Loretta wasn't with us for very long, but she will be missed. I'd like to use this time to reflect on her life.

Not a lot of people know this but, Loretta was actually born Louie LeSabre. He had a very troubled childhood getting addicted to Diesel and Premium gasoline at a young age. It wasn't until my step-mom bought him that he turned his life around and started to view the world in a positive light. For a few years he was at peace and happy although something was amiss about his life. Then tragedy struck when his long time girl-car, Josie Jeep got a bad case of vapor lock and had to be totaled. The tragedy pushed Louie over the edge and he fell in with the wrong crowd again and began mixing oil and antifreeze in with gasoline.

This is when I bought him. I tried to get him off the drugs and for a while it worked. Also during this time however, he had a sudden startling epiphany: He was supposed to be a female. Now I didn't agree with his decision, but I am a firm believer of "To each their own" and supported him regardless.

Reborn as Loretta LeSabre, she sadly began to get hooked on the oil/antifreeze combo and after a while her chassis just couldn't take it anymore. We all tried to help her, but life was just too much for her and she passed on in a terrible snowstorm in Allendale due to a blown transmission.

She wasn't with me long, but we did have our good times together. The trips to Detroit, packing friends in the roomy interior and the way she just floated down the road will forever be etched in my mind. We will miss you Loretta.

Thats no moon, thats a space station!

Haven't been on this in a while now have I?

The past month I've had terrible neck and back pain. Nothing incredibly serious, it just put me in a sour mood. You see I strained my upper trapezius muscle due to an action-packed foot chase through the crowded streets of Mumbai in which mysterious armed assassins relentlessly pursued shooting bullets every which way. Turns out it was a mistake in identity and we all had a good laugh, but still, i ended up with a pain in my neck that made the whole right side of my body numb.

Actually the truth about how i strained my neck is a lot more boring, so im not going to tell it.

Anyway. My quarter life crisis. Still going strong. Car died (more on this in another, upcoming blog). House leaked, twice. Snow. No luck with the ladies. Snow. Snow. School. Snow. Neck hogwash. So far 2011 is not proving to be the year of the Twa. But here's a theory:

All my bad luck is jammed into the beginning of the year like so much volleyball. That must mean that the rest of the year is going to be filled with the best of luck right? Yes. Im going to be a Positive Patrick about it all.

Also, I'd just like to add that the supermoon (or perigee syzygy for all you space nerds) we were supposed to have last night wasn't so super. Shame on you, moon. You broke my heart.

                                                               Here's what i wanted.

Here's what i got.

Perigee syzygy my gluteus maximus.